The Glory of the Wilderness

 

Have you ever been promised something, but then you had to wait for it? That is usually what happens with promises. But then, seeing it fulfilled is so much more glorious after the waiting. I have come to think of this season of waiting as the tension of the unfulfilled promise. In the past few months, I have become extremely familiar with this season. Every time God speaks a promise to us, there is a time where he takes us through the wilderness of testing and waiting before the fulfillment of that promise. We see this all throughout Scripture. God promised Abraham and Sarah a son, but they had to wait 25 years before they had Isaac. God told the Israelites about the Promise Land, but they wandered 40 years in the desert before entering. David was anointed as king, but he spent years in the wilderness fleeing from Saul before he became king. Even Jesus spent 40 days in the desert before beginning his ministry. Why the tension? Why the waiting? Intimacy with God. I am thoroughly convinced that everything God does he does to be closer to us. In the tension of the unfulfilled promise, it is easy to be disappointed, to think God is no longer faithful, or at least no longer faithful to you. To trust only what your eyes can see. But God is moving in the waiting. When we cannot see what he’s doing, so we think he’s doing nothing, he is asking us these questions: “Will you trust me? Will you believe I am who I say I am? Will you believe I’ll do all that I said I will?” In this tension, when everything you encounter and experience in the world tells you that you shouldn’t trust God, and you still choose him, something shifts deep inside of you. His character is branded into your heart like never before. Your faith roots go deeper and deeper as you stand on the promise of God. The word of God and his promises become real truth, and what you see and experience becomes secondhand. We really only have two choices in this tension: we can choose to harden our hearts toward God in unbelief or we can choose to trust him and walk by faith into the promise.  Abraham came to trust God’s character so deeply in the wilderness that when God asked him to sacrifice his son, he immediately obeyed. Some of David’s most beautiful and heartfelt love songs to God came out of his season in the wilderness. When you choose the latter, not only will you have more intimacy with God than ever before but all the sudden you will find yourself standing in the midst of your fulfilled promise. And it will be better than anything you could have hoped for. It was and always is for me.

I have seen God fulfill his promises to me over and over; he always proves faithful. He is always good. But here I am, finding myself standing here again in the midst of this tension. Believing God for something I cannot see. He’s done it before, why is it so hard to believe he’ll do it again? I don’t necessarily feel full of faith. I want the blessing of God without the testing or trial. But this morning God spoke to me about this and said, “Katie, the wilderness is not bad. This is where Moses met me face to face. Where Jesus battled Satan and won. It is your choice, but it is meant to be the deepest place of intimacy.” And he gave me the promise of Hosea 2:14,

“Therefore, behold, I will allure her and bring her into the wilderness, and I will speak tenderly and to her heart. There I will make the valley of trouble to be for her a door of hope and expectation.” 

So I have resolved to embrace the wilderness. Unbelief will not shut me out of the promise of God and I will not harden my heart. I will let him turn my places of trouble into hope and expectation and faith.  I will remain persuadable, and he will persuade me, yet again, of his faithfulness.

I have also resolved to never stop asking God for promises and believing him for huge things. No matter how risky, hard, or painful the process is, it is always worth it. I will not settle for mediocrity to avoid risk and I will not have a backup plan for the promises of God. Because I know that hope never disappoints. And dreaming with God never disappoints. Trusting him will not disappoint me. I have been through the fire, and I always come out saying He is good. Walking by faith, we will never get burned. We will come out as pure gold.

A thing of wonder

Hey Church, what if we all lived our lives this way? And what if, instead of having our own agenda, our crazy thing was God's crazy thing - the thing that is on HIS heart to do? Then they would call us world changers. And we could actually be the Finishing Generation. Let's do it. Because life is too short not to give it all.

Walking Upstream

My favorite day in India this summer was the day we went to Home of Hope. This is a home for the dying and destitute. Basically, they bring people here from off the streets that are close to dying. These people are the lowest of the low, truly the least of these. Sometimes they get better, and sometimes they just have a place where they can die in dignity. I woke up on that morning not knowing what to expect, but knowing it would be intense. As I was meeting with Jesus, he showed me something that marked me on that day and for the rest of my life. I saw a picture of myself stepping outside, and there was a river flowing over the street. Instead of walking downstream with the flow of the river, I turned the other way and began to walk upstream. Most people would go the other way because walking upstream is difficult. It goes against the natural flow of the world. But when you walk upstream, you get closer and closer to the Source. Home of Hope was intense, emotional, full of suffering and broken people, and few choose to go. But Jesus is there, beckoning those who love Him to be a part of what He’s doing. We didn’t see any crazy healings or salvations that day, but we did get to be the hands and feet of Jesus. We touched the untouchables. We loved those the world called unlovable. And as we did this, I experienced the raw, untamable, unquenchable love of God in a deeper way than I ever had before. I was with the Source, and his heart was pouring out and overflowing onto everything.

That day I went where few dare to tread, but I encountered the heart of God in a way that few experience. A way that only comes with choosing intimate risk and adventure with Jesus over the ways of the world. I was changed. It wasn’t only worth it, but it was my favorite. I want my life to be full of these “walking upstream” moments. This is the kingdom of God! I wasn’t created for an easy, go-with-the-flow life. I was created for radical abundance of life. And you were too. So go walk upstream today – it will change your life. Promise.

"But whoever takes a drink of the water that I will give him shall never, no never, be thirsty any more. But the water that I will give him shall become a spring of water welling up (flowing, bubbling) [continually] within him unto eternal life."

John 4:14

Changing the world with an apple

A couple years ago, I went to an interactive prayer room during a church-wide fast. When I walked in, I saw this tree with words beside it that said something like, “How do you change the world with just one apple?” There was a basket of seeds, and people were “planting” them in the dirt surrounding the tree. God recently brought this memory to mind as he has been teaching me the great value of a seed.  

As an American, I come from a culture that likes to get results fast. Fast food. Fastpass. 5 minute oil change. High-speed internet. In this fast-paced culture, I sometimes forget the glory of planting a seed. I can often despise the day of small beginnings. Sometimes we think that since we can’t do everything and see results right away, we can do nothing. But Jesus was always talking about planting seeds. Producing fruit that will last.  He could have chosen to change the world in anyway he wanted. His main thing could have been preaching to thousands and altar calls. But it wasn’t. He chose to change the world through investing his life in twelve people. Discipleship. The one apple way. And it worked, from Jesus to the disciples all the way to you and me.

This works because Jesus and his people were in it for the long haul. Jesus has never been about broad and shallow; that may touch many for a moment, but it doesn’t change the world. He loved widely but invested deeply. This way isn’t quick or easy. But it is lasting and reproducing. Jesus rejoiced in those who chose the one apple way. The widow who invested her entire lifesavings, two pennies, into the church. The servants who reproduced the talents given to them. Faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains. It doesn’t matter how much you have, but it does require all that you have.

Did you know that you could actually feed the nations with one apple? It just depends what you do with the apple. You can change the world with your life. It just depends what you do with that life. Your life is like this apple. You can eat it, throw away the core, and in an instant there is nothing left. This is how many people treat their life; they waste it. Or you can invest it. Take the seeds and plant them. Seeds of the gospel. Seeds of prayer. Seeds of love. Seeds of discipleship. Seeds of whatever passion Jesus has given you. Watch them grow. And produce fruit that far outlasts your own life. Leave a legacy. Change the world… with an apple.

Having my cake... and eating it too

I've always heard it said, "Go big or go home." But I am defying that expression. Yes, ladies and gents, I am having my cake and eating it too. I've been in Baton Rouge about a month now, and it is finally becoming reality that this is my home again. I've gone real big, and I've gone home. This is the biggest, riskiest, and craziest decision I've ever made, and everyday I'm more and more convinced that it was the right one. Sure I've had my "wait, why did I move here?" moments. But then He pulls my wandering eyes back into his gaze, and I remember. I remember that nothing is more worth it than following Jesus. I remember that He is good and fills my cup to overflowing. I remember that He has invited me to change the world, starting here. My life in Waco was so rich with relationship. And instead of thinking of that as something I've left behind, I have realized it is what I'm so thankful for and also what I get to reproduce. In these short three years, I have experienced the depth of community that some people search for their entire lifetime. I am thankful, and I know that it only gets better from here.

Most of all, I am so honored that Jesus chose me for this journey. To think that his eyes scanned a room and landed on my heart blows me away. I am humbled, because I feel like I have nothing to give except a yes. I guess that is all it takes. He isn't looking for the trained or the qualified, he's looking for the abandoned. A few years ago, I met with the person of Jesus. His love transformed me. So I drew a line in the sand - there would never be something he could ask of me that would be too much. I would go anywhere he wanted to take me. There would always be a yes in my heart to Jesus. And here I am.

So far, my days in Baton Rouge have been marked with rest. Resting in the arms of Jesus and being renewed in His presence. He is refreshing me and preparing me for the crazy adventure ahead. I am so expectant! I love living here again. I've been helping the team get settled in their new houses, spending a lot of quality time with them, meeting some new people and reconnecting with old friends. It is a blast!

 

coldstone with Blake and Lena.

 My new favorite spot that I found this morning, Magpie Cafe!

 Spending time with my nugget roomie Harper.

 getting my DIY on painting our house!

My new home :)

some of the team in front of Blake and Lena's cute casa.

Well, that's my BR update. Always a bear and forever a tiger,

Katie

Got Talent?

I love it when people surprise me. Which is why one of my many hobbies is watching auditions on youtube. American Idol, X-Factor, So You Think You Can Dance, Britain's Got Talent, America's Got Talent... the list goes on. Although the shows are good, the best part is auditions because you see the raw talent. Once they get on the show, they have training, costumes, makeup, lights to add to their performance. But with auditions, it is just the person and whatever skill they have that made them risk looking ridiculous in front of millions of people for a chance at fame.

One thing I've learned from watching these shows is that a lot of parents missed out on a key lesson of parenthood: the don't-tell-your-kid-they're-good-at-something-when-they-aren't lesson. Let's just say a great many kids walk onto the stage disillusioned. Also, we all know that there are just some people who look like stars and some that don't.

If you have ever watched these auditions, you know what I mean about surprises. When someone walks out on stage, and the instant you see them you get that oh-no feeling. Oh no, Simon is about to rip them to shreds. I easily get embarrassed for people, especially when they seem to have no capability to be embarrassed for themselves. I still can't understand how someone can think they are good at something when they are so terrible (their parents should have spoken up). Especially with singing and dancing, it is pretty obvious. Anyway, in these moments, you know something either incredible or really horrible is about to happen.

It is in these moments, though, that I find myself rooting for these people. I so badly want them to succeed. I don't know them, but I connect with them like I'm cheering on my best friend. And it is because we are all created for victory. We love it when people just like us overcome impossible odds and come out on top. We love the classic underdog stories. We love it when a normal person gets the chance to be a part of something so much bigger than normal. So, we link arms with these people because they give us hope. Hope that we can all be victorious. 

God loves these stories too. Moses the stutterer led millions of people to freedom. David the boy-shepherd slayed the giant. Fearful Gideon defeated an army of thousands with 300 men. And most of all, we know God loves these stories because He chooses us. Our own great adventures lie before us with the promise of victory. We don't have to audition and be good enough. We just have to be available. Conquer fear, walk onto the stage, and say "here I am."  But just like the people on these auditions, when we know that we're chosen, our lives are no longer normal. In fact, our lives will never be the same again. 

Check out some of my faves:

Feasting

I'll be honest, one of my favorite things about going to grocery stores is getting the samples. People making food and then giving it to me for free? I'll jump on that train. Especially when it's sushi. Yum. But when you're really hungry, those samples are just never enough to fill you. I was talking to Jesus the other night about what it means to love him. And here is what he said to me, "Many people long to love me well but they cannot love me unless they first know my love. Few have truly tasted of my love. Many have sampled, few have feasted."

Many have sampled, few have feasted. Now imagine this. You go into the grocery store for your normal everyday shopping, and instead of just getting a sample like you always do, the cook invites you to come and sit down at the table. And they place before you this extravagant meal for you to feast on, all for free. That is the love of Jesus. The problem is that many people think that the only thing available to them is just a sample. Or maybe they know there is a feast, but they don't feel good enough to come to the table. They may not be hungry. Or maybe they are not willing to take time out of their daily lives to sit down and experience the depths of his love.

"We love because he first loved us" (1 John 4:19). If that is true, then we can only love him as much as we have experienced his love for us. If we do not receive the love of Jesus, we have absolutely no capacity to love God or love others. Feasting on the love of Jesus is the key to all doors in life. I am convinced that everything flows from his love. And it is only when you feast on his love for you that you can love him the way he longs to be loved, the way he deserves to be loved. 

Here is the good news: "He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love [for love waved as a protecting and comforting banner over my head when I was near him]" (Song of Solomon 2:4). You are invited to the banqueting table; he longs to take you there! You can come as you are. So let go of all other things that you think can satisfy you and "eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food" (Isaiah 55:2).

So here is something to feast on...