A thing of wonder

Hey Church, what if we all lived our lives this way? And what if, instead of having our own agenda, our crazy thing was God's crazy thing - the thing that is on HIS heart to do? Then they would call us world changers. And we could actually be the Finishing Generation. Let's do it. Because life is too short not to give it all.

Walking Upstream

My favorite day in India this summer was the day we went to Home of Hope. This is a home for the dying and destitute. Basically, they bring people here from off the streets that are close to dying. These people are the lowest of the low, truly the least of these. Sometimes they get better, and sometimes they just have a place where they can die in dignity. I woke up on that morning not knowing what to expect, but knowing it would be intense. As I was meeting with Jesus, he showed me something that marked me on that day and for the rest of my life. I saw a picture of myself stepping outside, and there was a river flowing over the street. Instead of walking downstream with the flow of the river, I turned the other way and began to walk upstream. Most people would go the other way because walking upstream is difficult. It goes against the natural flow of the world. But when you walk upstream, you get closer and closer to the Source. Home of Hope was intense, emotional, full of suffering and broken people, and few choose to go. But Jesus is there, beckoning those who love Him to be a part of what He’s doing. We didn’t see any crazy healings or salvations that day, but we did get to be the hands and feet of Jesus. We touched the untouchables. We loved those the world called unlovable. And as we did this, I experienced the raw, untamable, unquenchable love of God in a deeper way than I ever had before. I was with the Source, and his heart was pouring out and overflowing onto everything.

That day I went where few dare to tread, but I encountered the heart of God in a way that few experience. A way that only comes with choosing intimate risk and adventure with Jesus over the ways of the world. I was changed. It wasn’t only worth it, but it was my favorite. I want my life to be full of these “walking upstream” moments. This is the kingdom of God! I wasn’t created for an easy, go-with-the-flow life. I was created for radical abundance of life. And you were too. So go walk upstream today – it will change your life. Promise.

"But whoever takes a drink of the water that I will give him shall never, no never, be thirsty any more. But the water that I will give him shall become a spring of water welling up (flowing, bubbling) [continually] within him unto eternal life."

John 4:14

Changing the world with an apple

A couple years ago, I went to an interactive prayer room during a church-wide fast. When I walked in, I saw this tree with words beside it that said something like, “How do you change the world with just one apple?” There was a basket of seeds, and people were “planting” them in the dirt surrounding the tree. God recently brought this memory to mind as he has been teaching me the great value of a seed.  

As an American, I come from a culture that likes to get results fast. Fast food. Fastpass. 5 minute oil change. High-speed internet. In this fast-paced culture, I sometimes forget the glory of planting a seed. I can often despise the day of small beginnings. Sometimes we think that since we can’t do everything and see results right away, we can do nothing. But Jesus was always talking about planting seeds. Producing fruit that will last.  He could have chosen to change the world in anyway he wanted. His main thing could have been preaching to thousands and altar calls. But it wasn’t. He chose to change the world through investing his life in twelve people. Discipleship. The one apple way. And it worked, from Jesus to the disciples all the way to you and me.

This works because Jesus and his people were in it for the long haul. Jesus has never been about broad and shallow; that may touch many for a moment, but it doesn’t change the world. He loved widely but invested deeply. This way isn’t quick or easy. But it is lasting and reproducing. Jesus rejoiced in those who chose the one apple way. The widow who invested her entire lifesavings, two pennies, into the church. The servants who reproduced the talents given to them. Faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains. It doesn’t matter how much you have, but it does require all that you have.

Did you know that you could actually feed the nations with one apple? It just depends what you do with the apple. You can change the world with your life. It just depends what you do with that life. Your life is like this apple. You can eat it, throw away the core, and in an instant there is nothing left. This is how many people treat their life; they waste it. Or you can invest it. Take the seeds and plant them. Seeds of the gospel. Seeds of prayer. Seeds of love. Seeds of discipleship. Seeds of whatever passion Jesus has given you. Watch them grow. And produce fruit that far outlasts your own life. Leave a legacy. Change the world… with an apple.

Having my cake... and eating it too

I've always heard it said, "Go big or go home." But I am defying that expression. Yes, ladies and gents, I am having my cake and eating it too. I've been in Baton Rouge about a month now, and it is finally becoming reality that this is my home again. I've gone real big, and I've gone home. This is the biggest, riskiest, and craziest decision I've ever made, and everyday I'm more and more convinced that it was the right one. Sure I've had my "wait, why did I move here?" moments. But then He pulls my wandering eyes back into his gaze, and I remember. I remember that nothing is more worth it than following Jesus. I remember that He is good and fills my cup to overflowing. I remember that He has invited me to change the world, starting here. My life in Waco was so rich with relationship. And instead of thinking of that as something I've left behind, I have realized it is what I'm so thankful for and also what I get to reproduce. In these short three years, I have experienced the depth of community that some people search for their entire lifetime. I am thankful, and I know that it only gets better from here.

Most of all, I am so honored that Jesus chose me for this journey. To think that his eyes scanned a room and landed on my heart blows me away. I am humbled, because I feel like I have nothing to give except a yes. I guess that is all it takes. He isn't looking for the trained or the qualified, he's looking for the abandoned. A few years ago, I met with the person of Jesus. His love transformed me. So I drew a line in the sand - there would never be something he could ask of me that would be too much. I would go anywhere he wanted to take me. There would always be a yes in my heart to Jesus. And here I am.

So far, my days in Baton Rouge have been marked with rest. Resting in the arms of Jesus and being renewed in His presence. He is refreshing me and preparing me for the crazy adventure ahead. I am so expectant! I love living here again. I've been helping the team get settled in their new houses, spending a lot of quality time with them, meeting some new people and reconnecting with old friends. It is a blast!

 

coldstone with Blake and Lena.

 My new favorite spot that I found this morning, Magpie Cafe!

 Spending time with my nugget roomie Harper.

 getting my DIY on painting our house!

My new home :)

some of the team in front of Blake and Lena's cute casa.

Well, that's my BR update. Always a bear and forever a tiger,

Katie

Got Talent?

I love it when people surprise me. Which is why one of my many hobbies is watching auditions on youtube. American Idol, X-Factor, So You Think You Can Dance, Britain's Got Talent, America's Got Talent... the list goes on. Although the shows are good, the best part is auditions because you see the raw talent. Once they get on the show, they have training, costumes, makeup, lights to add to their performance. But with auditions, it is just the person and whatever skill they have that made them risk looking ridiculous in front of millions of people for a chance at fame.

One thing I've learned from watching these shows is that a lot of parents missed out on a key lesson of parenthood: the don't-tell-your-kid-they're-good-at-something-when-they-aren't lesson. Let's just say a great many kids walk onto the stage disillusioned. Also, we all know that there are just some people who look like stars and some that don't.

If you have ever watched these auditions, you know what I mean about surprises. When someone walks out on stage, and the instant you see them you get that oh-no feeling. Oh no, Simon is about to rip them to shreds. I easily get embarrassed for people, especially when they seem to have no capability to be embarrassed for themselves. I still can't understand how someone can think they are good at something when they are so terrible (their parents should have spoken up). Especially with singing and dancing, it is pretty obvious. Anyway, in these moments, you know something either incredible or really horrible is about to happen.

It is in these moments, though, that I find myself rooting for these people. I so badly want them to succeed. I don't know them, but I connect with them like I'm cheering on my best friend. And it is because we are all created for victory. We love it when people just like us overcome impossible odds and come out on top. We love the classic underdog stories. We love it when a normal person gets the chance to be a part of something so much bigger than normal. So, we link arms with these people because they give us hope. Hope that we can all be victorious. 

God loves these stories too. Moses the stutterer led millions of people to freedom. David the boy-shepherd slayed the giant. Fearful Gideon defeated an army of thousands with 300 men. And most of all, we know God loves these stories because He chooses us. Our own great adventures lie before us with the promise of victory. We don't have to audition and be good enough. We just have to be available. Conquer fear, walk onto the stage, and say "here I am."  But just like the people on these auditions, when we know that we're chosen, our lives are no longer normal. In fact, our lives will never be the same again. 

Check out some of my faves:

Feasting

I'll be honest, one of my favorite things about going to grocery stores is getting the samples. People making food and then giving it to me for free? I'll jump on that train. Especially when it's sushi. Yum. But when you're really hungry, those samples are just never enough to fill you. I was talking to Jesus the other night about what it means to love him. And here is what he said to me, "Many people long to love me well but they cannot love me unless they first know my love. Few have truly tasted of my love. Many have sampled, few have feasted."

Many have sampled, few have feasted. Now imagine this. You go into the grocery store for your normal everyday shopping, and instead of just getting a sample like you always do, the cook invites you to come and sit down at the table. And they place before you this extravagant meal for you to feast on, all for free. That is the love of Jesus. The problem is that many people think that the only thing available to them is just a sample. Or maybe they know there is a feast, but they don't feel good enough to come to the table. They may not be hungry. Or maybe they are not willing to take time out of their daily lives to sit down and experience the depths of his love.

"We love because he first loved us" (1 John 4:19). If that is true, then we can only love him as much as we have experienced his love for us. If we do not receive the love of Jesus, we have absolutely no capacity to love God or love others. Feasting on the love of Jesus is the key to all doors in life. I am convinced that everything flows from his love. And it is only when you feast on his love for you that you can love him the way he longs to be loved, the way he deserves to be loved. 

Here is the good news: "He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love [for love waved as a protecting and comforting banner over my head when I was near him]" (Song of Solomon 2:4). You are invited to the banqueting table; he longs to take you there! You can come as you are. So let go of all other things that you think can satisfy you and "eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food" (Isaiah 55:2).

So here is something to feast on...

I can't believe I bought this: true life of a SkyMall shopper

I flew to Kansas City last night, and I couldn't decide what to do on the flight. I didn't want to read or sleep and I couldn't turn on my iPod yet. So naturally, I decided to peruse SkyMall. If you're ever bored on a plane, just let me suggest SkyMall for entertainment. Not only can you get a huge kick out of it, but you can also play the price is right if your neighbor will cooperate (my dad wasn't feeling it).

Anyway, although entertaining, I'm convinced that SkyMall is simply a disastrous combo of American materialism and laziness. They either 1) try to sell you completely ridiculous and useless things that people convince themselves they need only after sitting for hours on a plane or 2) sell you things that actually look great at at least double the price. And the stuff never works. If it sounds too good to be true in SkyMall, it is. Although I can't claim to have purchased anything from this classy magazine, I hear that it only ends in disappointment. 

So the combination of boredom and hilarity I experienced while reading inspired me to share. Here is my list of the most outrageous items in SkyMall. If I ever see these things in your house, I don't think I'll be able to stop myself from judging you.

 1. Monogrammed pool float. Yes! Please monogram my plastic float and sell it back to me for $200!

2. Porch potty. If you buy this, you probably shouldn't have a dog. 

3. Koozy Kaddy. The tagline for this is "never bend down for your drink again." Laziness at its finest.

4. Homegrown mushrooms. "I always dreamed of having my very own mushroom-in-a-box kit." Things people never say.

5. The healthiest deep fryer. Sorry, SkyMall, I just don't believe you.

6. Animated shark and raptor hoodies. "Use it to work your way through a crowd"?? No. Please don't ever buy your kids this.

7. Bedbug cocoon. I don't even care if this works, he looks ridiculous.

8. The Slanket. Taking the snuggie to a whole new level with the Siamese blanket, better known as the slanket.

Now, just so you know that I can also be lured into the SkyMall trap, here's one item that I would actually want in a world where people gave me awesome stuff for free...

This beautiful password protected video spy pen. It would be perfect for my double life as a secret agent (feel free to gather the community and purchase this for my next birthday).

Hope you enjoyed. If you didn't, it's okay that we don't have the same sense of humor... we can still be friends.

#bogo4lyfe

 (Everyone hates this picture because it is awkward... but I just like it. Can't help it.)

Three days ago I said goodbye to my home of three years (Waco) and moved back to Baton Rouge. Scary, excited, nervous, sad, happy, adventurous. These are some of the emotions I've felt over the last few days. But all of this has had me reflecting on how thankful I am for my experience in Waco. My life was radically transformed by Jesus, and I came fully alive as I walked in true community for the first time. Which leads me to the point of this blog... the Bogo (i.e. my best friends).

It is actually kind of pointless to be blogging about this because there aren't words to describe how awesome it is to have friends like these girls. But nevertheless, I will try. These women of God have seen every part of me (the good, the bad, and the ugly) and still they love me unconditionally. There is nothing better than being fully known and loved! What a picture of the heart of God. They challenge me to live like Jesus (even more with their lives than with their words). They are transparent and vulnerable before God and others. And the most beautiful thing about them is that they are each absolutely in love with Jesus. Living with them was one of the most fun AND craziest experiences of my life! So I guess I'll let you meet them (even though you probably know them already... 1-because we are famous or 2-because if you know me you probably know my best friends).

Anns, Annsley, Annikins, Anniepants. Many names but one beautiful face. Annie Howard is the most encouraging and nurturing person I know. She is tender, but she has the heart of a lion. She will definitely be a spiritual mother to many. And I can always count on Annie for a great dance party or Jbiebs sesh.

Sarah Neelley. What a gem. She is a loyal and faithful friend. Sarah is one of those people who has built her house on the rock. When the storms of life come, she stands on the goodness of God. Plus, she has a killer smile (that's why she gets two pics).

Stephie is marked by joy. Not only does she have the best laugh, but she can make anyone in the world laugh too. Mostly they'll just laugh at her laughing, but it still counts. She can ALWAYS lift my spirits. She is also an incredible listener and full of wisdom. People are drawn to her and she is friend to all. 

Chang, chang, changggg. Sarah was made to stand on the front lines for the kingdom. She is a go-getter for Jesus. She is a bold and passionate leader and I've learned so much from her! I love when Sarah is feeling extroverted because she is SO FUN. Many random adventures with this one. And she would hands-down always beat me in a dance off.

Linds. THE best friend. Not only is she my best friend, but she is the best friend because she is a great friend to so many. Linds is humble, selfless, and loves to celebrate people. She knows how to get behind people and lift their arms up. She is confident and secure. Overall, Linds is just a treasure. And our fav pastime is watching sad movies and bawling our eyes out (shout out to My Sister's Keeper). 

Ahhh Liz. DRAMA. A word that definitely describes her, and I love it. She was in France changing the world this past year, but she is still forever a member of the Bogo. Liz is a bold evangelist and she has never lost the joy of salvation. As my roomie for two years, you can imagine that we have some crazy memories together. I'm glad we got to be together as we got our lives rocked by Jesus freshman year. 

 They're the best. So most of all, I just wanted to say: I've had the time of my life and I owe it all to you. And...

See you later!

The Kindest

Namaste! I got back from India a little over a week ago, and there are millions of things I could say. I absolutely love India. If you’re ever thinking about going, just go. You won’t regret it! But as I was thinking about my trip and what was most significant, I realized something. I just traveled halfway around the world to be thoroughly convinced of this one thing: Jesus is the kindest person anyone will ever meet. He has the kindest face and the kindest eyes. He speaks the kindest words. These words sum up the revelation I received in India: “His eyes are dripping with love and His words are melting our hearts and His voice is unraveling and penetrating. All of creation just can’t look away” (Beautiful King by Laura Hackett). I am overwhelmed by His kindness. And I also got to watch as those who had never heard of Jesus became overwhelmed with His kindness too.

So, here is a story. One of the first days of the trip, I went out to share with Kate and Brandon. We ended up in this store, called Health and Glow. There were probably ten women working and not many customers, so it was the perfect opportunity to minister to people. We asked if anyone was sick, and two ladies said they were. Kate and I each prayed for one, and they both got healed of all their pain! That opened the door for us to share about Jesus. I was sharing with some other women, but as I joined Kate again, she asked if anyone wanted to see a vision of Jesus. A few of them said yes. We prayed and then asked what they saw. One woman held her hand right up to her nose and said, “He was right here!” Another one said she saw his face. The third woman said she saw angels and then she saw Jesus. She described what his hair looked like and his eyes. Then she said he had something on his head like a rope. She was motioning and struggling to explain it but we realized she was describing the crown of thorns! So we asked if it looked like thorns. She said yes, that was it! We then told her that Jesus wore a crown of thorns when he died. Kate explained that Jesus was showing her how much he loved her and that he died for her. She was definitely excited and overwhelmed. We shared the gospel again and a few of the women really considered saying yes to Jesus and having no other gods, but they weren’t sure yet. We went back the next day and talked with them again. Two of the women gave their lives to Jesus! Someone from our team got to go back again to disciple them, and they will continue to meet with one of our friends that lives there.

As I was watching this miraculous encounter unfold before my eyes, all I could think of was how kind Jesus is. These women had spent their whole lives bowing down before gods and making sacrifices and begging for answered prayers in temples. Yet, they had told us that they felt so far from God. But in the middle of a store, Jesus made himself known to them. They didn’t have to plead or bow down or make an offering, he just met with them. He healed their bodies. They experienced His tangible presence. He showed them His face. And for the first time in their lives, in one moment, God was near. His love awakened their hearts. His kindness won them over. And as I was standing there, He won me too. I fell in love with Him all over again.

There are many more things I could say about India (in fact, I’m sure I’ll blog about it again). But let me leave you with this. There is nothing better than living life from the overflow. As we sit at the feet of Jesus everyday and receive freely from the river of love and kindness pouring from his heart, we will be filled to overflowing. It is only in this place of overflow that we can truly love others as Jesus did.

Also, when you’re in India (or just in an Indian restaurant), eat the naan. It will change your world.

Adventuring to India

A dirt road stretches before me. It is along this road that Jesus has already walked. Actually, he’s also skipped, jumped and ran along the road. He has encountered people along the road. He has softened hearts. He has given people a desperate longing to experience eternal love. He has stirred dreams and visions inside their hearts. And his footprints still remain; he has truly prepared the way. This road is India. More specifically, this road is the unique path designed for my team’s short-term trip to India. Jesus has already carved out an inheritance for us, and it is a beautiful inheritance. The key to unlocking this inheritance is intimacy and friendship with Jesus himself. We must know him deeply and be in fellowship with him constantly to follow in his footsteps. He will take us by the hand and show us the way. As this road stretches before me already impacted by the presence of God, me and my team also walk, skip, jump and run along the road. We put our small feet into his big footprints. And as we do, we gain our inheritance and take back ground from the kingdom of darkness.

This is a beautiful vision that God gave me of what He has for our team on this short trip to Bangalore, India. We are a team marked by favor and intimacy. We will overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony. And as we do, I would love for anyone who is reading this blog to partner in prayer with us!

So, here is how you can pray:

• Pray for grace and favor as we share the gospel with Hindus and Muslims.
• Pray for us to encounter people who are truly hungry for Jesus and not only desire salvation, but also discipleship.
• Pray for house churches to be started.
• Pray for unity on our team and for us to deeply love one another. We will only reproduce what we are.
• Pray that every morning each of us meets with God in a powerful way and receives everything we need to love others from his heart.
• Pray for safety in travels and favor in all the practical details of our trip.
• And anything else you feel led by the Spirit to ask God for!

I’ll post an update on all my exciting Indian adventures when I get back. See ya on the flip!

A few of my favorite things...

Today was my very last day on Baylor campus as a student.  I’ve been having a lot of “lasts” lately. My last lifegroup. My last day of class. My last time to see someone before I move. The funny thing about lasts is that I know it will lead to a whole lot of firsts. So even though they are sad, I am excited about all the firsts I have yet to experience. Its almost like I’m going to be a freshman all over again (and I LOVED being a freshman). Anyway, my journey of lasts got me thinking about all the things I have loved about going to Baylor and living in Waco. By the way, whoever said that there’s nothing to do in Waco was crazy and very sadly mistaken. So here are just a few of my favorite things, in no particular order. Enjoy.

1. Kolaches.  I didn’t even know what these were until I came to Texas. Sad to say I don’t think Baton Rouge has many kolaches. Czech Stop and Shipleys, you will be missed.

2. Going to Common Grounds. Walking in has this magical effect: I automatically feel way cooler and trendier than I actually am… and I love it. Cowboy coffee for life. 

3. I just love walking on Baylor campus. Not only because it’s beautiful, but also because I feel like I’m in a Disney movie. Everyone is always smiling at you. During my first week at Baylor I remember thinking it strongly resembled being at summer camp. And I proudly admit that I am one of those people who said “as soon as I stepped foot on campus I just knew Baylor was the place for me…”

4. The place I’ve lived the last 2 years affectionately known as the BOGO. I have loved living life and living the kingdom with these girls. There was never a dull moment.  

5. Kitok. An asian hole-in-the-wall known for its burgers? Weird, but awesome.  The food is delicious, but more importantly, I’ve had some of my best moments with Sarah Chang at this place.

6. Bubble tea at Outdoor Waco. It is very unfortunate that bubble tea made its debut in Waco right when I am leaving. Oh well, I’m enjoying it while it lasts.

7. Cameron Park (or cam park as us locals say).  Ok, the second largest park within city limits behind Central Park? What a gem! And jumping the fence at Circle Point or Lover’s Leap to spend time with God on a cliff is pure bliss. Try it sometime.

8. Living in Brooks (the textbook-loving, smart people dorm… which we didn’t know til we got there) freshman year with my wonderful roomie Liz Stovall. From racing everywhere we went to competing for who got the most packages to flooding our entire dorm, we have some priceless memories. Wouldn’t trade them for all the glam and glitz of Collins.

9. We will try, we will vie, we will never die! CHI CHI OMEGA CHI 2, 3, 4! This is the ultimate Chio pump up song sung only by Baylor Chios (I think). I’m never prouder to be a Chio than when I’m singing this song!! Sorry LSU, but nothing could ever beat try, vie, die.

10. Finally, Antioch Community Church. This community is the ultimate thing I’ve loved about living in Waco. My life was completely transformed and I will never be the same because this radical group of people chose to lay their lives down for Jesus and his church. Boom.

Jesus loves me, this I know?

Jesus loves me, HE LOVES ME. Think about that, I mean really think about it. Stop. Close your eyes. Let those words sink in. He. Loves. Me. As simple as it seems, this is my story, a journey of learning and grasping the meaning of these words. My life has been transformed by this revelation. And I believe that it is a revelation that I can search out for my entire lifetime. Get past the cheesy bible songs and Christian memorabilia that carry this phrase and consider every sinful thing you’ve ever done, will do, and think about. Consider even those dark secrets that you carried deep within your heart, the ones that you were afraid to speak out loud in a room by yourself. Now consider this, Jesus looks through those things, and He stares you in the face. He doesn’t look at you the way you look at yourself, with layers of dirt covering your skin. He stares into your eyes like you are the only person that matters in the entire world, and He says, “I love you.” 

While this may sound simple to some, I think this is something that most churches, most Christians have not really grasped. If we did, there would be no boring church service, no gripping the pews thinking only about what we are going to eat for lunch (guilty). Every time we had a chance to encounter God, whether in church or in our bedroom, would be pure joy, reckless abandonment, and wholehearted devotion. It would be like diving into a swimming pool on a blazing hot day or taking the first bite of chocolate cake after months on a sugar free diet. Yet this is the heart of God; we are robbing ourselves if we experience anything less!

My whole life I tried to be good enough for Jesus, I tried to earn His love. I thought if I went to church five times a week, led bible studies, had the perfect leadership positions, joined the right clubs, that maybe he would look past my laundry list of sins and love me. Oh, everyone told me He loved me, I must have heard it a million times. But I passed that off as an obligatory love, the “I know I have to love her but I don’t have to like her” type of love (yeah, admit it, we’ve all said that). Not the love that raises the hairs on your arms, captures your heart, and puts a fire in your bones. No, God could never love me like that; He’s seen what I’ve done. But, as much as I tried, I could never do enough to take away the guilt and shame that I drowned in every night as I laid still in my bed after a day of striving.

I came to college sick of trying, because I had been around the typical Christian block too many times. I said all the right things and did all the Christian things, but it wasn’t working. I was an abandoned mansion, beautiful on the outside but so empty and lifeless on the inside. And then Jesus met me, and I haven’t been the same since. I always relied on what people said about Him and what they said about me. For the first time, I heard what He said about Himself and what He said about me. They said that I was clothed in dirty rags, but He clothed me in a beautiful, royal gown. They said I could never be pure again, He said, “My blood has covered you, and I have made you pure.” Years of condemnation and shame and sin fell off of me, like clothes that were WAY too big. The lies did not fit me anymore, and I was free. The voice of Jesus had finally drowned out the voice of the world and all I could hear in my ears was, “Katie, I love you, I love you, I love you.”

His love set me free, His love healed me, and His love gave me indescribable joy. I was no longer an abandoned mansion, I was a glass house. Why? Because I finally realized something. He loves me. I didn’t have to try or strive or earn, He just loves me. He doesn’t love me for who I could be; He loves me for who I am. And His love is enough. When Jesus’ love is truly enough, guilt and bondage do not exist. They cannot exist. If I believe in a God who saved me at the cross, why would I try to save myself? If I believe in a God who carries my burdens, then why would I try to carry the burden on my own? If I believe in a God who sets me free, then how can I think I could set myself free? Because I didn’t know His love. But now I know. I pray that you, that everyone, would know deeply the intoxicating love of Jesus. And may we all waste our lives loving Him back. 

fear highlighted

A few weeks ago I took a walk on the wild side: I highlighted my hair from a box. Well, really, my friend Sarah Chang did it. If you’ve had your hair professionally highlighted, then you know what I mean when I say IT IS EXPENSIVE! So, I always wanted to see what would happen if I highlighted it from a box. I mean, it is so much cheaper and the girl on the front always looks fabulous. But there has been this other voice inside of my head saying, “Don’t do it Katie. Something will definitely go wrong. There’s a reason they have professionals for this.” I did not want to be the girl with the tiger stripes. So, although I’ve always wanted to take the risk of highlighting my hair from a box, I never did. Why? Because of fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of failure. Fear of rejection (if it turned out really bad). Now, I’m not saying that if you prefer professional highlights, you’re wrong. In fact, I may not ever go the do-it-yourself route again. But here’s the point: fear is crippling. Fear keeps us from risking, and if faith is spelled R-I-S-K, then fear keeps us from walking in faith.
 There are actually a lot of things I haven’t done because of fear. I have a long history with fear. When I was two years old, my parents took us to Disney World, which I think they ended up regretting. I would scream and cry when I saw any character with a mask on. Who doesn’t like Mickey Mouse? My two-year-old self. I wouldn’t even talk to Belle because that dumb Beast was always with her. My options were very limited, but I ended up forming a very special connection with Jasmine. Also when I was really young, my parents took us to the beach. That was also a problem because I was scared of sand. You heard me right, I would not walk on the sand for the life of me. I was absolutely sure that the sand crabs were going to eat up my feet. And let’s not even talk about the ocean. Sharks and jellyfish, there was no way you were getting me in there. These are only two of my irrational fear stories - you can ask me about the other ones later. But here is the moral of them all: I have missed out on so much in my life because of fear. I didn’t get to experience the fullness of Disney World or the joy of sticking my feet in the sand all because of fear. And fear almost never makes sense; it is so irrational. How likely was it that a character with a mask was going to come after me? Or sand crabs were going to eat me alive? Do you see where I’m going with this? I think the enemy’s favorite weapon is fear because it steals the abundance of life. Fear says you better stay where you are because even if it isn’t a good place, at least it is comfortable. Fear may allow us to do our Christian duty, but it keeps us from risking for the kingdom. It definitely keeps us from dreaming with God. And the root of fear is a lack of trust. If I had trusted my parents when they told me that walking on the sand wouldn’t hurt me, I could have had so much more fun on the beach. Instead, I stood on a kickboard and watched everyone else playing and having fun. That is what fear does, it keeps us on the sidelines. God is calling us to adventure, and we can trust him. His voice is sure and His promises are good. He will never lead us astray. I have been experiencing this in the deepest way throughout my journey of moving to Baton Rouge. Over this whole process, I have been learning to trust Jesus and his leadership like never before. He is calling me to risk for His kingdom, and I have a yes in my heart. I have chosen to no longer let fear dictate what I can and cannot do. Jesus is loving the fear right out of me. Of course, fear tries to weasel its way back into my mind. Fear says you are out of your mind. You are crazy. What are people going to think about you? Who transfers to another college for their senior year because of church? But Jesus says trust me. The risk is worth it. And I think I’ll listen to Him. So, highlighting my hair, although a lot less eternally significant, was a risk. It was a step of faith. I didn’t know what would happen, but I knew it would be an adventure. Hey-o, just like my life. And for all you potential risk-takers out there, just so you know… I’ve gotten a lot of compliments on my hair. Looking pretty good, don’t ya think?

  

Doors Fling Wide

Hello world! I am officially entering the bloggersphere, and I hear that there’s no going back. For a while now I’ve wanted to blog, but never got around to starting one. There’s the first thing you should know about me – I’m a visionary, I dream big yet I can definitely lack on follow through. But look, here I am blogging so I’m already growing. Glory to glory. After I got over that hump, I felt like all the sudden blogging became this huge trend and everyone was doing it. That made me not want to blog because I didn’t want to just be the latest trendy fad follower (there’s the leader in me coming out). However, I decided to get over myself and do it anyway. So, here I am. 

My blog is called “Doors Fling Wide” because that is the word God has spoken continually over my life and my journey with Him. It all started a little over a year ago at a prayer night at my church, Antioch. Our college pastor, Carl, called Jake Griffin (the pastor of soon-to-be ACC Baton Rouge) to the middle for us to pray over him. He started talking about the church plant and made a statement something like, “and I’m even believing that some of you are going to transfer to LSU to be a part of this church plant!” You know whenever there are hundreds of people in the room but you just know that the person is speaking directly to you? Yeah, that happened. I can’t really explain this experience, but it felt like time stopped and God said to me, “that is you.” I know this sounds dramatic, and it was (another thing to know about me- I kind of have a flare for the dramatic so I’m pretty sure God just meets me in that place). I was processing this experience with God that night, and I asked him to give me a dream about moving to Baton Rouge if this really was from him. It isn’t that uncommon for me to have dreams through which God speaks to me, but I almost never have them the same night I ask for them. So really, I was using this as a cop out. I figured when I woke up and didn’t have the dream, I could just write off this whole thing. YEAH RIGHT. Long story short, I did have a dream that very night. When I am faithless, He is still faithful. God spoke so clearly to me in this dream to begin the process of praying through moving to Baton Rouge. I started a 21-day prayer journal, and one of those days God revealed this verse to me:

“These are the words of him who is holy and true, who holds the key of David. What he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open. I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut.”

Rev 3:7-8

 

He said, “Katie, I am setting open doors before you. As long as the doors keep opening, walk through them.” And I have. As soon as I heard this from God, I remembered when I had been at a prophetic night a few weeks earlier and the phrase “open doors” had been prophesied over me. God has opened door after door after door for me to move to Baton Rouge. So, yes, I am transferring to LSU my senior year for the sole purpose of being a part of planting a church and seeing the kingdom of God advance. Jesus recently confirmed the “open doors” word for me again. One of the members of the BR church planting team, who I had never told about this, came up to me one night and told me that God was giving me the keys to the doors of LSU’s campus. I had every key and there was no door that would not open for me. The next week I was actually at LSU meeting with professors about transferring. I went to reach for the door handle of this one professor’s office, but it was locked. At the very moment I touched the handle I got a text from this same guy that said “Remember your keys Katie!” In a moment when I would have been tempted to doubt that I had favor, God tangibly reminded me that he has given me the keys and what he opens NO ONE can shut. I have many more stories just like this that testify to the faithfulness of Jesus. I am overwhelmed by the graciousness and clarity of God. He has been so faithful to me. He has moved mountains and done miracles to get me to this place. I don’t think I can begin to imagine the treasures he has stored up for me and the doors he will open once I get to Baton Rouge. I love dreaming with God. I love walking with Jesus. It is an exciting, wild, and beautiful adventure! And I know with certainty that this is only the beginning. God will always be setting an open door before me until one day I am standing before my last set of doors. Then the gates of heaven will fling wide and I will see His face.